A Numbers Game

Amanda Thomsen

Any tool, no matter how silly, that provides insight into your employees or co-workers is valuable, am I right?

I can only think of one place of employment I’ve had over the years that gave me a “personality test'” before I was hired. The results? It turns out I’m very patient, up until a point, and then I’m the most impatient person ever.

I grimaced when I was told my results by the hiring manager, but he assured me that is the PERFECT trait for a salesperson. The perfect salesperson is genuine and enthusiastic until the tipping point of wasting time. They’re adept at feeling all that out and then moving on at the speed of light. What can I say? C’est moi.

Enter the Enneagram test, a completely nonscientific, but fun and certainly unsettlingly specific, personality test that you can take online for free in about 15 minutes. What’s different about this personality test as opposed to others is that it really shines a light on all the ways someone can completely suck. Even in my most self-deprecating moments I’d never put such a concise label on my negative traits as the Enneagram test did.

But why would you want to know what your most awful traits are? Whelp, if you have to ask, you’ll most definitely benefit from hearing them. Reading that I have so many ideas that I’m immobilized by them has honestly been the best/worst thing I’ve ever learned about myself. Why? Because now that I know it, I can work to do better for myself.

When you get the whole crew to do an Enneagram test and share what numbers you came up with, expect to gain insight into some things you may have suspected.

Here’s a rundown:

Type 1: These perfectionists belong in the office making sure all the important stuff is done correctly; they have a need to be right, which works out well because they’re actually always right.

Type 2: These people-pleasers want to be liked, so that makes them a go-to for day-to-day tasks or being set loose on the sales floor. These are the people that get trapped in two-hour conversations with needy customers, though—too darn nice!

Type 3: These high achievers want the spotlight—put them in any position where they can be the hero and they’ll flourish, probably as your salesperson-of-the-month for four months straight.

Type 4: These deep, unique people are interested in being genuine and feeling all the feels. Put them on social media detail or making store displays and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at what they make of it.

Type 5: This person is a fount of knowledge and every garden center has at least one. You’ve put this person on the phone or working in an “Ask an Expert” booth (and definitely proofreading the catalog in winter).

Type 6: This is your human BS detector. Put them on the register and customers will not get away with anything, or even better, as a sort of customer service special OPS. If something doesn't smell right, your type 6 will be the first to let you know.

Type 7: Great at selling because it’s not just a plant, it’s an entire yard of ideas! “You know what else you could do?” says your 7. 7s are enthusiastic salespeople because we are all ideas, but no actual follow-through.

Type 8: I always think of Sam the Eagle when I think of 8s. They stand up for what they believe in and don’t shy away from a fight; you definitely need them dealing with vendors.

Type 9: They’re so go-with-the-flow and afraid of upsetting the apple cart. Need someone to put stickers on hanging baskets for six hours? Just make sure you stop them for a lunch break.

Listen, I don’t think I’d hire someone based on their score on a free Internet quiz, but it sure is fun and insightful as something to do at your next meeting to help blow off some steam. I know it’s rough out there right now, but you’re not in it alone. You’re part of a team and unless you somehow hired a pile of only 1s or only 5s etc., your team has a wide array of skills, that when cooked together in a gumbo, will make the spring survivable. GP
 

Amanda Thomsen is a funky, punky garden writer and author. Her blog is planted at KissMyAster.com and you can follow her on Facebook, Twitter AND Instagram @KissMyAster.